Reasons You Want THE ART OF LAINEY

So, Valentine and all-around awesome person Paula Stokes wrote this adorable, touching, funny book that is coming out today. I am blessed with good fortune in all things, and so I got to read it early. Which is why I can tell you with absolute certainty that you want it!

First things first. Awesome cover?

check.

Awesome description:

Soccer star Lainey Mitchell is gearing up to spend an epic summer with her amazing boyfriend, Jason, when he suddenly breaks up with her—no reasons, no warning, and in public no less! Lainey is more than crushed, but with help from her friend Bianca, she resolves to do whatever it takes to get Jason back.

And that’s when the girls stumble across a copy of The Art of War. With just one glance, they're sure they can use the book to lure Jason back into Lainey’s arms. So Lainey channels her inner warlord, recruiting spies to gather intel and persuading her coworker Micah to pose as her new boyfriend to make Jason jealous. After a few "dates", it looks like her plan is going to work! But now her relationship with Micah is starting to feel like more than just a game.

What's a girl to do when what she wants is totally different from what she needs? How do you figure out the person you're meant to be with, if you're still figuring out the person you're meant to be?

check.

And if that's not enough, I have some more reasons you want (and need) The Art of Lainey:

It’s educational: I bet one of your New Year’s Resolutions was to read a classic this year, so what better way to cross something off your checklist by reading a book completely inspired by one of the most enduring texts of all time?

It’s hilarious: Two thousand year old military tactics as deployed in an independent coffee shop and at teenage house parties?  Oh yeah, this book is funny.

It’s swoony: In order to engage in proper warlike tactics, Lainey enlists the help of one a certain coffeehouse baker, who happens to also be into punk music and piercings.  Yes, he’s as delicious as he sounds. World, meet Micah.  Micah, meet world.

It’s empowering: I know I said it was swoony, but this is also the story of girl who once used her boyfriend to define her life now striking out and finding a new life of her own.  It’s girl power with soccer cleats and a barista’s apron.

The Art of Lainey is available for purchase NOW!

Amazon
IndieBound
Barnes and Noble
Books-a-Million

Cupid's Sweet Six Arrow Thingamajig: Book Rave/Interview With Victoria Scott, Author of FIRE & FLOOD

Guyyyyyyyyyys! It's Paula! Today I'm going to squee about The Crow, Iron Man, Cadbury Creme Eggs, Victoria Scott's awesome new book FIRE & FLOOD!! Aren't you proud of me? Look how bookish my priorities are. I am a professional writer!

Let me start off by saying that thanks to some sort of voodoo mind meld I put on Victoria, I actually got to read this book 8 months ago. I read it in one night when I was supposed to be revising something--I don't even remember what. But yeah. I about died of awesome. And then I had to keep one hand clasped across my mouth going 'Mmmmph' until some of my friends read it too.

Here are just a few reasons why I <3 Fire & Flood: 

1. THAT COVER. I love how stark and yet totally alive the cover is. I love the raindrops in the letters.

2. Tella feels like a REAL TEEN GIRL. Not all of us would become Katniss Everdeen if we got in over our heads in some creepy survival race. It's okay that at certain points Tella longs for her makeup and wonders if the guy walking behind her is looking at her butt. Girls think these things. Not ALL girls, of course, but this is the character Victoria wanted to write and I for one dig how different she is from the normal knife-throwing, rock-climbing, suddenly-good-at-all things YA heroine (though I like those girls too :D)

3. The Pandoras. Oh my sweet Jesus! I need like 6 or 7 of these immediately. I would buy them all in plush, but I really want them in REAL. 

4. The tone of the story. This book could have gotten grim really quickly, but Victoria keeps it from treading into super-dark territory by blending humor into a narrative that's already brimming with romance, mystery, and action.

Okay, enough blabbering on my part. Now let's hear what Victoria has to say about her masterpiece :)

1. Tell us about your book.

FIRE & FLOOD is a YA thriller set in modern day. The main character, Tella, enters a race across Jungle, Mountain, Desert, Sea to try and win the cure for her brother's illness. Each Contender in the race receives a Pandora--a genetically engineered animal--to help them try and win. I had a ton of fun writing this adventure book!

2. What scene in your book do you LOVE the most?

Probably the scene where Tella's Pandora hatches. I can't wait to see what animal readers think it will be. 

3. If you had to pick a YA character you LOVE (and not your own!) who would you pick and why?

I'm going to choose a fan favorite--Hermione Granger. She's smart, sassy, loyal, courageous, and grows as a person across the series. Win! 

4. What's the craziest/most memorable Valentine you've ever received?

It was in fourth grade from a boy I was mad crushing on. I was sure it meant he loved me...even though he gave everyone else one, also. I spent hours reading between those pre-printed lines. 

5. If you were a Brach's candy heart, what phrase would be written on you?

Poisonous. [Paula: Ugh. My least-favorite flavor of candy.]

6. And finally, the all-important choice: flowers or candy?

Flowers, all the way. Specifically, Peonies. 

I don't even know what peonies are, but they sound fun...like PONIES! Thanks for hanging out with us YA Valentines, Victoria! :) *activates mind meld in order to receive book #2* Also, if you guys haven't read THE COLLECTOR, that is one of the most hilarious books ever, and you should read that too--for the bad boy who totally is a bad boy who maybe is a little bit of a good guy but still deliciously bad throughout :) Basically, I am obsessed with everything Victoria writes.

Victoria Scott writes teen fiction and is represented by Sarah Crowe. She’s the author of the Fire & Flood series published by Scholastic, and the Dante Walker trilogy published by Entangled Teen. Her books have been bought and translated in nine foreign markets including the UK, Germany, Turkey, Poland, Australia, China, Brazil, New Zealand, and The Netherlands. Victoria lives in Dallas with her husband and adores cotton candy. Visit her online at VictoriaScottYA.com. 

Cupid's Arrow: Thoughts on Bad Reviews

Hi interwebz!

So I realized it was my turn to do this post about 2 days ago. Problem, since I've been sick for 4 days and when I am sick I HATE EVERYTHING! Sorry Cupid. You missed. Paula is going rogue again.

I was going to do a recap of the #NYE14reads event, which you should totally check out if you need book recommendations, but then I started talking about reviews with some of my friends. And then I started thinking and thinking and once I go down that road I have to just write it out, you know?

So here goes: You probably know that even though I am here on the YA Vals blog and “debuting” in 2014 with my YA contemp The Art of Lainey, that I also wrote 3 books under the name Fiona Paul in collaboration with the literary studio Paper Lantern Lit. I don’t discount or downplay those books when I think of The Art of Lainey as my debut—there’s just a huge difference between writing work-for-hire under the guidance of others and writing your own personal story where you are the one with the copyright and final creative control. Or there was for me, anyway.

Still, I did not spend two years writing Venom, Belladonna, and Starling without getting invested in the characters and story, and putting some of myself into those books. So when Venom got eviscerated by both personal and professional reviewers months before it released, it felt like an entire bus stop full of strangers had lined up to punch me in the face. The girl who pretty much got an A+++ on every assignment her whole life now seemed to be getting a big fat D- from The World, and I was not prepared.

For a while, I just kind of dealt with it, mostly by not talking about the book and downplaying the release date. Letting random strangers steal my joy and shame me over what should have been an impressive accomplishment. Yeah, don’t be like me.

No one can tell you how to deal with something like bad reviews. We all handle things differently. But my first author-friends all shared wisdom with me--wisdom that helped me find my peace. Here are some of those thoughts, along with my own, for those of you who are just starting to get reviewed. Maybe they will help you find your peace, too. Got more thoughts? Share them in the comments.


I know there are some people out there who really like punching other people in the face. But these people are not the majority. If you are reading this because you wrote a book, then how's about taking a moment to remember how epic and awesome it is that you wrote a freaking book :) Who does that?? Awesome people, that's who.

The person who leaves a 1-star review is not more important than the person who leaves a 5-star review. Their opinion is not more valid, even if they write 10,000 words. Failure to recognize this is insulting to the people who really love your book, AKA your fans. 

Collectively, the blogosphere hates everything. Might as well write the book YOU want to write. At least that way the person who matters most will like it. 

Reviews are one person’s opinion at one point in time. There are reviews all over the internet that say “Well, I was going to give this 5 stars, but then I thought about it for a day and decided to give it 2 stars instead.” So in that way, reviews are kind of like photos, and even the superest supermodel sometimes takes a bad picture.

I never saw the old woman until someone pointed her out.

Reviewers aren’t criticizing your book, they’re criticizing their own perception of it. People can experience the exact same stimulus and perceive it differently. That’s why my mom thinks my green sweater is brown. That’s why some people see the young woman and some see the old woman. That’s why one reader’s poetry is another’s purple prose. Not everyone is going to read—and therefore review--the story you think you wrote. 

Know your book. My MC is a little shallow and abrasive at first. Some people will dislike that. But I did it for a reason, so seeing those complaints won’t hurt me. If you know why you did what you did, then you'll see that sometimes it’s just a difference in personal taste. 

Once when I was sick and watching Hulu, I heard British dating coach Matthew Hussey say something like this: "95% of people let their happiness be determined by the opinions of random strangers. Don’t be one of those people." I’ve been crushing on him ever since. 

Can you blame me?

If your strategy for dealing with reviews is to avoid them and that works, rock on. But keep in mind you’re denying yourself all the amazing ones. And you’re losing the chance to learn from the critical ones that are RIGHT. Once, a girl wrote a fairly scathing review of Venom, pointing out all of its anachronisms. I pouted. Then I sighed. Because that girl was right, and I told her so. She went on to proof Starling for historical inaccuracies and is now a twitter friend and a member of my street team. If you avoid all your reviews, you deny yourself the chance to turn a lose-lose into a win-win. 

Some of my all-time favorite authors wrote books I just couldn’t get into. Hey, it happens. They’re still my favorite authors. Some people just won’t like this or that book. So, you know, write more books! Or don’t. But either way, not liking your book isn’t the same as not liking you.

This blog post brought to you by the number 7.

Edited to add: In a world where people often feel like they have "earned" or "paid for" great or acceptable experiences, but feel justified in complaining about less than favorable ones (Think about it: when's the last time you stopped on your way out of Burger King to say "Just what I ordered. Stellar job, guys. 4 stars") it sometimes amazes me there are any good reviews at all, let alone that the good outnumber the bad for almost every book. So author-people, when you are obsessively crunching your GR stats, don't forget about all the people who really enjoyed your book, but couldn't quite find the time to tell you about it. And reviewer-people, thanks again for taking the time. We know you have lots of other things you could be doing.

FURTHER READING, OR PEOPLE WHO SAID IT BETTER AND MORE CONCISELY:

 Stephanie Perkins: Would Beyonce be reading this? Spoiler: No. No she wouldn’t.

Jess Spotswood on disliking things, honestly. Maybe we’re all scathing sometimes, and that’s okay.

Kristin Cashore on why Graceling is a really bad helicopter instruction manual.

Rachel Caine takes an in-depth look at some of her 1-star reviews.

VALENTINE COVER LOVE!!! And a Giveaway!

As we roll ever closer to the magical year, 2014, our covers keep rolling out, too. And though both of these lovelies debuted their covers on other blogs, it's time to give a great big WE LOVE THE COVER shout-out to two of our very own sweet and lovely Vals.

First to debut was Anne Blankman and the cover for her historical novel, THE PRISONER OF NIGHT AND FOG.

I ADORE this face. The fear in her eyes, the hot red lipstick typical of the era, the looped curls framing her face, and of course, the fog rolling up about to whisk her away. It speaks of intrigue and romance and danger and to the time period. I think they did a stellar job! And that tag line! "To uncover the truth, she must deny her past..." Shivers, right?

Here's a teaser:

Obey. Smile when Hitler comes closer. And never, never question him.

These are the three rules in seventeen-year-old Nazi Gretchen Muller's life. They've kept her safe since Papa died, protecting old family friend Adolf Hitler during a street fight years ago. Until the night in 1931 when Gretchen meets a young, fearless Jewish reporter she's supposed to despise. But she can't stop herself from listening to his story -- that her father, the adored martyr, was actually murdered. Together, Gretchen and the reporter vow to do whatever it takes to uncover the truth. Even if it means breaking all of Hitler's rules. Especially the most important one of all: don't fall in love with the enemy...

And now for our second beautiful Valentines cover! This one is sassy and spunky much like the author who penned the contemporary romance. It's Paula Stokes' cover for THE ART OF LAINEY!

Doesn't the cover model look like she's made of mischief? That sparkle in her eye? I can tell this girl solemnly swears she is up to no good. And when you read the blurb you can see this is the perfect cover!

Soccer star Lainey Mitchell is used to getting what she wants, and when her boyfriend Jayson breaks up with her for no reason, what she wants is to win him back before the start of their senior year. Lainey and her friend Bianca check the interwebz for tips and tricks, but the online dating advice is all pretty lame. Then the girls stumble across a copy of The Art of War. Didn't someone once say that love is a battlefield? Jayson isn't going to stand a chance once the girls go all Zhou Dynasty on him... Old school strategy and subterfuge meet modern-day dramarama in the story of a girl who sets out to win at all costs and ends up discovering what's really worth fighting for.

So, what do you think? Awesome covers, right? And as a thank you, and all you need to do is leave a comment and I'll have random generator pick a winner in time for next Tuesday's book rave, I'm giving away an ARC of The Burning Sky by Sherry Thomas! (U.S. Only please)

Book Rave: Top Ten Reasons You Should Read GOING BOVINE by Libba Bray

Hey guys. Paula here. I was all set to do this book rave on Victoria Scott’s THE COLLECTOR, and rest-assured that post is coming because, OMG, it is not easy to make me laugh out loud and that book SLAYED me. But over the past few weeks, I realized how many of my writer and blogger friends have not read Libba Bray’s GOING BOVINE. This is one of my favorite novels of all time. It’s not just funny, or poignant, or thought-provoking, or inspiring. It’s ALL of those things, with an extra side of funny. You are missing out if you skip this book.

Here's the official flap copy: 

Can Cameron find what he’s looking for?

All 16-year-old Cameron wants is to get through high school—and life in general—with a minimum of effort. It’s not a lot to ask. But that’s before he’s given some bad news: he’s sick and he’s going to die. Which totally sucks. Hope arrives in the winged form of Dulcie, a loopy punk angel/possible hallucination with a bad sugar habit. She tells Cam there is a cure—if he’s willing to go in search of it. With the help of a death-obsessed, video-gaming dwarf and a yard gnome, Cam sets off on the mother of all road trips through a twisted America into the heart of what matters most

GOING BOVINE came out right after I finished nursing school. It was one of those sad times in my life when I owed more money than I made and couldn't afford to buy books. But when I heard about this completely whacktastic story about a kid who gets mad cow disease—helloooo epic fail day—and goes on a vision quest across the country in search of a mysterious doctor who may be able to save his life, I had to have it.

So I requested it from the library, read it, and got completely hooked. Reading it was like getting caught in a blizzard of snow globe glitter, floo powder, and LSD. I didn’t want to give it back. I kept renewing it until the library sent me a friendly email telling me to turn it in or else.

But then I requested it again. And read it again. And eventually was forced to turn it in again. But I requested it again. At one point I sent Libba Bray an awkward facebook message about how for me GOING BOVINE was the standard by which all YA lit should be measured. Then it won the Printz Award—I guess some smart people agreed with me.

Libba sent back a nice FB message thanking me, and ended it with: “Happy writing, and happy human being-ing.” I’m still working on getting better at both of those things, but I did finally get smart enough to realize that a book I loved so much I library-requested it for six straight months was one I couldn’t afford NOT to buy.

So I bought it. You should too. Need more convincing?

Top Ten Reasons Why You should Read GOING BOVINE

10. Two words--Printz Award. If you don’t know what that is, you might want to stop googling “emo kitty haz a sad” long enough to research it. Especially if you’re a YA writer because, you know, basics.

9.  Just the acknowledgments made me laugh out loud. Seriously—they’re so good the publisher put them in the front of the book.

8.  ROAD TRIP! With a sentient yard gnome, who may also be a god.

7.  It has a pretty hefty amount of swear words, and some drug and sex-related content. This is not so much a reason to read it as a warning for those of you who prefer your YA on the sterile side. Please don’t send me any angry “That devil-woman and her filth hath sullied my virgin ears” emails. You can send those straight to Libba :-) Just kidding.

6.  It’s an allegory of Don Quixote, featuring a pink-haired, punk-rock angel in the role of Dulcinea.

5.  The chapter titles, which include: Wherein I have a Very Strange Encounter While Stoned and Employ a Frying Pan in My Defense and Wherein the Angel Discusses the Wonders of Microwave Popcorn and Gonzo gets Our Asses Stranded in the Middle of Nowhere

4.  It will forever change the way you think about snow globes.

3.  Sibling love at its finest:  

Cameron: “Hey Jenna, were those your birth control pills I found in the bathroom this morning?”

Jenna: “No, I think those were the ones Mom meant to take before you were born.”

2.  Libba Bray is actually a teenage boy. Okay, not really, but she writes the BEST teen boy voice ever:

“You’ve got mustard on your shirt,” Staci points out

"It was cheeseburger day.”

“Oh my God, you don’t actually eat in the cafeteria every day?”

“I have a thing going with one of the lunch ladies. Bernice. she’s the one with the hairnet and the mustache. But mum’s the word. Wouldn’t want to spoil the big prom surprise."

1.  The first sentence: 
The best day of my life happened when I was five and almost died at Disney World.

Have you read GOING BOVINE? What did you think? 

And, before I go, I have some SWEET VALENTINES UPDATES:

RIGHT NOW: Win an ARC of DEFY over at Sara Larson's blog. While you're there, maybe check out her post on overcoming doubt too. Good stuff, Sara!

NOON EST: Check out Anne Blankman's cover reveal for PRISONER OF NIGHT AND FOG over at yabookscentral.com Enter to win a signed ARC and a necklace.

TOMORROW: Check out my cover reveal for THE ART OF LAINEY with Christina at Ensconced in YA. Win an e-gift card to Powell's Books and a chance to become an 'extra' in the story. You know you wanna be in my book :-)

Cupid's Arrow: A Cake by any Other Name...

What's up, peeps? Paula here to profess her undying lurve, Arrow-style. Like someone else a few weeks back, I went rogue and picked one (okay two, really) of my own favorite things to pay tribute to. Why? Because I can >:)

Without further rambling on my part, I am professing my love to:

Yes, zebra cakes. Revision food of the gods. No time to cook, or even get up from your desk? No worries. One package of Z-cakes has enough fat and unrefined sugar to keep you cranking out words for several hours. And just look at that mascot. Is he not having fun? Imagine a party with him and Chester Cheetah. Only the cool kids would get invited to that soiree. You know you wanna go.

I was kind of traumatized to find out not everyone knew about zebra cakes when I was blathering on about them on twitter. It seems most of the non-initiated tweeps were either uber-classy or foreign. Classy people--what did your mom put in your grade school brown bag lunches? Creme brulee? Foreign people--I pity you and your non-artery-clogging healthy snack foods. Clearly, Z-cakes are the shizz. Why else would they have their own fan webpage and their own facebook page, neither of which are run by me. No, really.

I decided to pay tribute to the Z-cakes by classing them up, Masterchef style, because if you know me at all you know I also love me some Masterchef. [Side note: Is it me or did James totally get robbed this week? Hey James you're in the final four. PSYCH. No you're not. Wrong, just wrong. Come on, Luca or Jessie. I don't want either of the mean girls to win.]

So while classing up the cakes, like with any art, there were a couple major fails, including one called Boat and one called Torte. What this means is that I have consumed more than the manufacturer's recommended daily allowance of zebra cakes. Please send insulin.

Okay, here's what they look like out of the box:

Not bad, not bad. They have enough hexagonal charm to make you the envy of the fifth grade when you dump them out of your lunch bag, even if they're a little smashed because your mom packed them at the bottom under that apple you always throw away.

My goal was to plate them up so that even the classiest of the classy people above might be tempted to indulge in their sugary and saturated goodness. Let's see how I did:

I call this first one, Classic:

Here we have zebra cake served over a mixed-berry syrup, alongside whipped cream and fresh fruit. If you ever worked in a fancy-but-not-too-fancy restaurant, like I did, then you have probably plated up some desserts in the classic style.

I call this one Fan. Check out my knife-skills, yo. Here we have sliced zebra cake served over a mixed-berry compote, garnished with whipped cream and a raspberry. Okay, whatever, it's really grape jelly but that doesn't sound nearly as fancy, and sometimes it's all about the wording, am I right?

And finally, I call this one Here Comes the Cake. Because yes, with a little finesse, zebra cakes can put a dazzling finish on even the most glamorous of occasions. Okay, probably not really. But maybe, if you got mad style :)

So how'd I do? Are you convinced? Are you hungry? Are you ready to trade in your frou-frou desserts for some real American deliciousness? What's your go-to reading or revision snack?

Our Sweet Six: an interview with Elizabeth Richards, author of BLACK CITY and PHOENIX

Hey guys, Paula here to share with you one of my favorite authors, Elizabeth Richards. Her debut novel, BLACK CITY, was one of my top reads in 2012. It was dark and gothic and sexy and forbidden and did I mention sexy? If you're a fan of forbidden love, action, and mystery set against a dystopian backdrop, the Black City Chronicles are for you! PHOENIX, the second book, released in June and I am already clamoring for the final installment, due out next summer. Bonus factor--Elizabeth has the prettiest covers of any series I've ever seen. Look, I made it extra-giant for you to enjoy :)

1. Tell us about your book.

 Here's PHOENIX’s official blurb, as I think it explains it the best!

Engaged to be married, Ash and Natalie are just starting to build a life together when things in the United Sentry States go from bad to worse. Ash and Natalie find themselves at the center of turmoil when dictator Purian Rose threatens Natalie’s life unless Ash votes in favor of Rose’s Law—a law that will send Darklings and other dissenters to a deadly concentration camp known as the Tenth.

When Ash can’t bring himself to trade Natalie’s life for those of millions of Darklings, her fate is sealed. Enter Elijah Theroux, the handsome Bastet boy Natalie once saved from her mother’s labs, where he’d been experimented on and tortured. It was his venom the Sentry used to create the lethal Golden Haze, the heart of the government conspiracy that led to Black City’s uprising and Ash’s rebirth as the Phoenix, the face of the rebellion. Elijah is back and Ash doesn’t like him; it’s clear he’s taken with Natalie, and Ash fears she may have feelings for him as well.

But Elijah also may have the answer to taking down Purian Rose for good—a powerful weapon called the Ora. Ash, Natalie and Elijah just have to escape Black City undetected to find it. But fleeing the city and finding this weapon (if it even exists) are easier said than done, and the quest could tear Ash and Natalie apart, even pushing them into the arms of others.

This enthralling sequel to Black City is just as absorbing, delicious and steamy as the first book, leaving readers hungry for the series conclusion.

2. What scene in your book do you LOVE the most?

 Hee hee, that's easy. The scene in the Barren Lands where Elijah's in the water with his shirt off...mmmmm.

3. If you had to pick a YA character you LOVE (and not your own!) who would you pick and why?

 Ooooh....it's so hard to choose just one character, as I have so many book boyfriends (I'm a book boyfriend slut). I think I'd pick Four from Divergent. He's tough, handsome and brave, but he's also vulnerable too. The perfect combination!

4. What's the craziest/most memorable Valentine you've ever received?

 I haven't received any crazy Valentine messages, however one Valentine my husband surprised me with a trip to Barcelona! I thought we were going up to London for a wedding reception, and when we got to London he whisked me off to the airport. It wasn't until we were there that he told me where we were going. It was an AMAZING Valentines, and one I'll never forget. My hubs is the best.

5. If you were a Brach's candy heart, what phrase would be written on you?

 Blood Mates!

6. And finally, the all-important choice: flowers or candy?

 Flowers! My husband always gets the best bouquets for me, with really unusual and gothic flowers, like black tulips with thistles and fiddlehead ferns, and I love them. He knows me so well! Of course, if they come WITH a box of chocolates, then that's even better...

YAY! Those sound like the most epic flowers ever and I might even decide to like flowers too if I ever got any that cool. I mean, they still would never top candy, but you're right, why choose when you can demand both? Thanks for stopping by the YA Valentines blog, Elizabeth!

Elizabeth Richards is an award-winning journalist, who spent her early career reviewing videogames before making the bold (or crazy) move into travel writing, despite suffering from terrible travel sickness.

In her spare time, she ran a successful lifestyle website aimed at teenage girls, where she got to interview many of her favourite bands, go to gigs and basically blag loads of free swag all in the name of ‘research’.

Elizabeth lives in Buckinghamshire, England, with her husband. 

Website        Twitter        Facebook        Goodreads

BREAKING NEWS!! I have just been informed that the winner of the BURN OUT cover reveal contest is Alyssa Susanna!! Alyssa you have just won DEFY THE DARK and a YA book of your choice! Congratulations. Kristi Helvig will be contacting you :)

CUPID'S ARROW: In which I profess my love for a land down under

I went to Australia, but I was not allowed to touch these vicious koalas.

That's right. AUSTRALIA. So if you know me or my (not so) mysterious alter ego at all, you know that I am a girl who gets around (*ahem* in a traveling sense, thank you very much). So of course I've been to Australia and of course it was epic and fabulous and so when Tez of Tez Says fame shot an arrow inviting me to profess my love for Australia, I grabbed that sucker right out of the air.

Sadly, I just got home from an epic journey across Scandinavia and all attempts to humiliate myself by singing were thwarted by my lack of time and skills, as well as my not-quite-smart-enough phone. Next time, people, I will have the technology. Or something.

Anyhoo, you will just have to imagine me singing the lyrics to this fine song I wrote about Australia. (Think of a very bad violin player accompanying 2 bullfrogs croaking and a smattering of brawling tomcats and you'll be getting close).

AUSTRALIAN THINGS 

(sung to the tune of Rodgers's and Hammerstein's MY FAVORITE THINGS) 

Men at Work, Midnight Oil, Silverchair too
Pitch Perfect's Fat Amy and the digeridoo
Actor Daniel Lissing--I've heard that he sings
These are my favorite Australian things.

Koalas and devils, wombats who need huggage
The good folks at Qantas who found my lost luggage
Christmas in summer and the fun that it brings
These are my favorite Australian things.

When the croc bites,
When jellies sting,
When I'm feeling sad,
I simply remember Australian things
And then I don't feel so bad.

Guys with hot accents playing rugby and cricket
Larrikinism instead of a ticket
Prawns on the barbie and Tanzanite rings
These are my favorite Australian things.

 

When the croc bites,
When jellies sting,
When I'm feeling blue,
I simply remember Australian things
And then I know what to do.
PLAN A TRIP! :)

No fake crocodiles (or silly writers) were injured during the creation of this arrow. 

Thanks for the arrow, Tez. Keep those arrows coming, people :)

Our Sweet Six: An Interview with Alex London, Author of PROXY

Have you guys heard about Alex London and PROXY, yet? If not, all I can say is thank me later because you are going to want a piece of this action. This book is a nonstop thrill ride of awesome that managed to make me feel all the feels along the way. Tired of melodramatic romances overshadowing the larger plot? PROXY is more bromance than romance, and the friendship that develops between the two main characters is one of my favorite parts of the book. Here's the blurb that sucked me in:

Knox was born into one of the City’s wealthiest families. A Patron, he has everything a boy could possibly want—the latest tech, the coolest clothes, and a Proxy to take all his punishments. When Knox breaks a vase, Syd is beaten. When Knox plays a practical joke, Syd is forced to haul rocks. And when Knox crashes a car, killing one of his friends, Syd is branded and sentenced to death.

Syd is a Proxy. His life is not his own.

Then again, neither is Knox’s. Knox and Syd have more in common than either would guess. So when Knox and Syd realize that the only way to beat the system is to save each other, they flee. Yet Knox’s father is no ordinary Patron, and Syd is no ordinary Proxy. The ensuing cross-country chase will uncover a secret society of rebels, test both boys’ resolve, and shine a blinding light onto a world of those who owe and those who pay. Some debts, it turns out, cannot be repaid

The Valentine's Sweet Six

 1. You're a writing pro, with several adult and middle-grade books out on the shelves, but PROXY, which releases on June 18th, is your first YA novel. Tell us about it.

I once wrote the sentence: Proxy is a semi-messianic, queer-affirming sci-fi thriller which critiques the corrupt meritocracy forged by neo-liberal capitalism and the dehumanizing nature of financialized debt...for teens. 

I vowed never to share this sentence in public. Oops.

Proxy is a futuristic thriller about two guys from opposite ends of society who are never supposed to know each other. There is Knox, a patron—privileged, entitled, kind of obnoxious, dashingly handsome, and there is Syd--an orphan, a loner, closed off, and desperately trying to get out of debt. It’s the debt he’s in that makes him Knox’s proxy. When Knox gets in trouble, Syd is punished. When Knox’s hijinks go too far, Syd has had enough and the two of them end up caught up in events much larger themselves. They're going to need each other to survive.

That’s the plot anyway.

To me, the heart of the story is these guys figuring out how to connect--with themselves, with each other, with the world around them in a larger way than mere self-interest. It’s sort of the fundamental journey we all have to go through in growing up. 

Usually, though, there aren’t clone armies after us. Syd and Knox have to deal with that too.

The book came from two places, really—Sid Fleischman’s chapter book, The Whipping Boy (which is an obvious inspiration; I even seeded references to it throughout the book. I wonder if anyone will get them all?) and from some stuff I was dealing with, guilt trying to process my own privileged upbringing and trying to figure out why all the stories I read with main characters who were gay were about being gay in some way, were "issue" novels. In this story, Syd happens to be gay, but that’s not really germane to the plot. I don’t believe that any one facet of a person’s identity should limit the kinds of stories they get to see themselves in, so I wanted to write an action-packed adventure tale about big ideas—debt, friendship, society—that didn’t shrink itself into a “gay” novel.

So there’s a lot going on, but I mean it to be a page-turner…I repeat: clone armies.

2. What scene in your book do you love the most?

How can I choose just one?? Did you see how long my last answer was?? Did you see all the big words I used in that first sentence??

I love the first chapter because I wrote it a very very long time ago, before I knew much about the book and the form it exists in now is almost identical to how it came out in the first draft. That is rare for me. Usually everything gets rewritten.

There is a camping scene in the desert in the middle of the book where the three central characters (spoiler alert: there’s a girl) get to (briefly) be normal teens again, silly, flawed, sarcastic, hormonal. I love that scene.

And lastly, the last scene of the book, which I rewrote and reconceived a million times (well, seven times, counting when I hid out in Penguin's offices and tweaked it in pencil one last time on the final page proofs). I ended up surprising myself with what happened. I don’t want to ruin it, but I did not expect it to go the way it did (although looking back it seems inevitable…like I was setting it up from page one…I just didn’t know that). It makes me cry and it makes me smile. I'm very proud of that scene. 

3. Name a YA character, not your own, that you love, who and why?

Obviously, I’m not going to pick just one! I could name a dozen! A hundred! Choosing a favorite book character is like choosing a favorite person…there are many I love, but some I keep closer to the bed. So: Titus from Feed by MT Anderson and Lyra from His Dark Materials by Phillip Pullman. 

Titus is just such a perfect depiction of an average teen in an all too plausible futuristic world (and he is, to a small degree, a literary antecedent to Knox in Proxy). I love his flaws, his naïve lack of enthusiasm for the wonders around him and his obliviousness to the horrors. In that way, too, he is like me, growing up in Baltimore as the murder rate was spiking in the 90's and AIDS was decimating the gay and the African-American communities…I knew none of that. I was just hanging with my friends in prep school, looking for a good time, thinking how lame everything was. But in Feed, Titus grows; Titus questions; Titus evolves. We should all hope that for our characters. We should all hope that for ourselves. 

And Lyra. Amazing Lyra in the His Dark Materials trilogy. She’s tough, she’s bold, she’s inconsistent, she’s a liar and a dreamer and a hero and a fully realized human in a fully realized fantasy world. She may be one of the best ever created. She's accessible enough for the reader to pour himself into (for the same reason Harry Potter or Bella in Twilight are kind of bland…we need to project ourselves into them) but unlike Harry or Bella, Lyra is also a fully unique individual and far from bland. She's quirky and universal; a character we can aspire to be and also far from a role model. I mean…how did Pullman pull that off? The man is a genius.

4. What's the craziest, most memorable valentine you've ever received?

I have received precious few valentines. Actually there aren't any that I can recall! I guess I don't really do valentines day. I was closeted for most of high school, so romance wasn’t really in the cards and later, it just seemed like a corporate holiday for straight couples to overpay for dinner. After nearly 10 years with my partner, I like to think every day is romantic and special and we don’t need one prescribed day to celebrate our relationship. 

Also, I always forget about it until the morning of. But my rationalizations sounded convincing, right?

5. If you were a Brach's heart, what phrase would be written on you?

You R Not Alone

6. Flowers, candy, or... *Paula flails to come up with a more Y-chromosome friendly choice* human flesh? (What? According to his blog he wrote a MG book about cannibals!)

I did write a middle grade novel called We Dine With Cannibals, but in the story the Cannibals are (spoiler alert) a red herring. My way of playing with colonial stereotypes and assumptions about ‘the other’ through silly middle grade adventure stories. So probably a no-go on the human flesh. Not because of the taboo. I’m an adventurous eater, but because I couldn’t bear to think my dinner was somebody's son or daughter. It doesn't seem right. Then again, the same could be said about cows or pigs or chickens, all of which I  eat...hmmm....I'm a hypocrite.

Better go with candy. Flowers die, but cavities are forever.

So my dentist keeps telling me! Alex, you rock for being my first Valentines victim, er, interviewee, and I cannot wait to watch the public clamor for PROXY just like I did :)

Alex London writes books for adults, children and teens. At one time a journalist who traveled the world reporting from conflict zones and refugee camps, he now is a full time novelist living in Brooklyn.

Check out Alex's blog, twitter, and FB.