Friday, March 15, 2013

Cupid's Arrow: Potato Love!

This one goes out to Emily! Thank you for being one of the first to shoot a Cupid's Arrow!

Without further ado:

Ode to the Potato

                                                  (this pic is kind of gross... my apologies)

From the kingdom of Plantae
comes a crop I know of
Sit back and relax while I
profess my love.

Shapes and colors
and sizes galore
No possible choice which
snack I most adore 

French fries and hash browns
are even good rotten
dumplings and pancakes,
potatoes au gratin

Mashed, scalloped, roasted
or cubes in a stew
baked or twice-cooked
or Chuno from Peru

Butter and sour cream
cheese curds and gravy
all these fun toppings
to make bellies grow wavy

Carbs and calcium
Vitamin E
Potassium, zinc
and vitamin C

They've been known to
grow abnormally large
Eighteen pounds even,
holy s***, carbs!

A bold statement, maybe...
I don't want to grapple
but I think potatoes
could be the new apple

We must give this starch
the credit deserved
(I mean, potatoes can even
be long-term preserved!)

Did you know the Columbia
shuttle gave them a place
to be the first ever crop
grown out in space?!

Potato blossoms were even
the fashion to get
by royals like
Louis XVI and Marie Antionette

Eco friendly and cheap
versatile without measure
The beloved potato
should be our national treasure.

A. Lynden Rolland


  1. This blog is going to make me gain so much weight! Cookies and peanut butter cups and now potatoes...*salivates*

    1. Haha, at least there were mermaids to shake it up a bit!

  2. I just snorted Lean Cuisine out my nose,

    "They've been known to
    grow abnormally large
    Eighteen pounds even,
    holy s***, carbs!"

    GENIUS. Pure, carb-heavy GENIUS!

    1. Deep dark secret #32: I wrote this while stuffing french fries in my mouth. It was 'research'. #FatKid

  3. Amy, I just laughed out loud! Love it! And I find myself craving potatoes with dinner... Yum...

  4. And the potato is probably the number one reason why I could NEVER do Atkins, well, that and my unhealthy addiction to Italian bread :) This was so stinkin' cute! Well done, #goatsistah!

    1. Agreed! I don't need bread so much, but french fries, chips, sweet potatoes... can't live without 'em.


    Cutest line evah:

    "don't want to grapple
    but I think potatoes
    could be the new apple"

    Yes! A potato a day keeps the swimsuit away. Heh.

    Wonderfully zany and creative, #goatling

    1. Haha, I'm so glad my FatKid syndrome is appreciated! Totally forgot to add something about goats eating potatoes!!! #epicfail

  6. I can't help but wonder if Amy actually wrote this poem a long time ago. Her potato-related feelings are too genuine and well-developed to have been done merely for this Cupid's Arrow.

    And there's no need to apologize for a potato butt. It's cute!

    1. Oh no! You're on to me!!! I secretly write sonnets, odes, and love songs to all my favorite foods, hahaha! ...And now I'll be hitting the gym.

  7. mmmh. i have a strong craving for some fries right now! i totes agree with Anita, and adore this line:

    "I think potatoes
    could be the new apple."

    i'm going to get t-shirts made. thanks for this epic potato ode!
    *runs to the store for hash browns and tater tots and fries*

  8. Thanks for the hash browns craving. Where's the ketchup poem?

  9. Yum! Now, where'd I put the salt?

  10. SPACE POTATOES?? This Arrow was both funny and informative :) #Win